is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Vodka?
Forever.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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