I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
