so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
