I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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