I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
