i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All the doctor said was why
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize