Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
