he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
