my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
