nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
