Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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