Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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