We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize