i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
