1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
