you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
