Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
