its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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