Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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