whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Drunk is a universal language darling
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
