Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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