Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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