the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
