If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
