My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
