ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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