whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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