i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
