I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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