I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
