how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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