did you get engaged???
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
