I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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