Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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