yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
