that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
