i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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