RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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