well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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