i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
