worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
