He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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