you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
