So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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