I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
as a side note pls kill me
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