just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we're making bets on your personal life
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
