Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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