Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
