I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Where is the hickey?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
