why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
