You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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