Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
