if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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