Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Sext me about skeletons
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
