I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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