$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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