this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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