Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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