exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
